For many years, out of the hundreds of thousands of words available, one of the words we have used most frequently is repair. Darn, I didn’t mean to break that; now I’m going to have to repair it. If I don’t get this door repaired it’s going to get worse. You want me to repair the lawnmower? You’re the guy in this marriage, aren’t guys supposed to repair things when they are broken. And so on….Webster has more than one definition of the word repair: “to restore by replacing a part or putting together what is torn or broken; to restore to a sound or a healthy state.” When I first began to compose my program for recovery from incest and child sexual abuse I kept at the back of my mind that it would require a name; it cried out for a title that aptly described what needed to be done. I plowed on ahead certain that once it all came together a name would present itself that would most perfectly define and identify the totality of the program. I also needed to ensure the integrity of the journey you as my reader was embarking on. It needed to all come together, each step in harmony with the one before it. The word Repair perfectly identified what I was creating.
I used the Bridge of Recovery as a visual tool. The program called REPAIR was the map to take you across that bridge. When I first begin working this program I started with R for Recognition as the first stage. This is a vital first step where you recognize and accept that your adult problems stem from childhood sexual abuse. From there you move onto the second stage, Entry. This indicates a strong willingness to work through your childhood abuses by entering a program of commitment to change your life for the better. The third stage, Process is the underpinning of the program. Here is where you do your real work, learning tools and techniques that will enable you to become healthy. Next is the fourth stage, Awareness. This is the coming together of reality as you gather the pieces of the broken puzzle your life became and begin assembling them to see the complete picture. Here you discover the properties of awareness that were God-given promises at birth, lost at the moment of sexual abuse. Insight, stage five helps you see the complete picture and begin to return to that which you were prior to being sexually violated. The sixth and final stage of your journey is Rhythm. Here we recapture the natural rhythm you had before the abuse happened. It is the blueprint that is the essence of your true nature, becoming who you really are.
There you have it, the six stages of REPAIR. Can you afford to not Repair your life? On one side are those things destroying you. If you turn back, depression, loneliness, despair, suicidal tendencies, addictions, failure to set healthy boundaries, shame based low self-esteem and fear of abandonment await you. The list is endless.
On the other side of your Bridge of Recovery is all the good stuff. There you will find peace, healthy choices, strong self-esteem, a feeling of being centered and capable. There you will find joy. Imagine a life free from pain and emotional instability; a life where waking each morning brings happy anticipation rather than dread, a life where you can stop waiting for someone to rescue you and begin to rescue yourself. All you have to do is to keep moving across that bridge. At some point in your recovery you will learn that, like a carrot on a stick, the other side of the bridge beckons and you will no longer be tempted to turn back.
Don’t wait. It is never too late to Repair Your Life. The Lamplighter Movement website contains pages to guide you further. When I completed my own Repair program I was literally the happiest person I knew.