My best friend Webster tells me that the word \u201cjudgment\u201d means: a) a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion, b) a formal decision given by a court, or \u00a0c)the final judging of mankind by God. It\u2019s that third one that amuses me.\u00a0 How many do you know that love being judgmental? The overused statement, \u201cWho died and left you God?\u201d is so appropriate here.<\/p>\n
Casting judgments, something we\u2019re all guilty of at one time or another, criticizing, and finding fault with another makes us feel superior; it makes us feel intelligent; it empowers us and gives us a marvelous opportunity to make someone else feel \u201cless than\u201d. Look at me. Aren\u2019t I wise? Aren\u2019t I looking out for the common good? But mostly it covers up our own insecurities, our own inadequacies, our own fears. It is often a sign of hidden anger. Surely if the object of our judgment is \u201cless than\u201d, it makes us feel \u201cmore than\u201d, something everyone strives for.<\/p>\n
And what do we have on the opposite side of this coin\u2026\u2026humility or the state of being humble.\u00a0 This is a much misunderstood word. There again we have several definitions (oh I do so love Webster). It can mean not proud or haughty, not arrogant, offered in a spirit of deference or ranking low in a scale, insignificant. None of us wants to feel insignificant or rank low in a scale. Hence being judgmental enters the picture.<\/p>\n
When we think of being humble we often think of Uriah Heep, the fictional character created by Charles Dickens in his novel, David Copperfield. This character is notable for his cloying humility, obsequiousness and insincerity, making frequent references to his own \u201cumblesness\u201d. No wonder the word \u201chumility\u201d turns us off. Even if we have never heard of Uriah Heep or never read Dickens we instinctively shy away from wanting to be humble. It sounds so degrading. It makes us feel that we have to hide our light under a bushel basket. This saying is in reference to a bible verse, Matthew 5:14-16 which says:<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.\u201d<\/p>\n
Surely this must mean that if we have qualities of excellence we should let everyone know. And isn\u2019t the best way to do this by making ourselves shine? In telling others what is wrong with them we feel a glow of righteousness.<\/p>\n
But are we not our own worst enemy? Contrary to all that we think to be true, it is only through humility that we can achieve one of the things the word has a shortage of, kindness. If we had a choice between making someone feel good or making them feel inadequate, which would be a better focus to put in our universe? If we decide someone needs to be chastised because we think they are too sensitive, what kind of sense does that make? If we pontificate on someone\u2019s shortcomings saying it is for their own good, we feel we are being magnanimous and not just \u00a0harsh and critical. We feel it is our duty. But most people don\u2019t require a guide to tell them when they need fixing. They have a conscience for that.<\/p>\n
I love the word humble. It has such purity, such moral excellence, a soft focus on mankind. \u00a0The world would be better if, instead of deciding someone needs to be told what is wrong with them (and we are the person to do this), we approached them from a place of understanding, looking for their positive qualities, perhaps looking inward instead. What is our motive for pointing out to someone what we think their shortcomings are? Why do we feel it necessary to color ourselves as \u201cspeaking our mind\u201d (oh how noble that sounds) and color others as deficient in some way. The more we are able to chastise the more virtuous we feel. As a result, what we look like to others is patronizing and haughty, egotistical and arrogant.\u00a0 To be truthful we look like a pompous ass.<\/p>\n
Being judgmental is sad and unnecessary. If we only accepted others for what they were, realized that instead of criticizing and judging others, if we gave that time to the improvement of ourselves, the world would be a better place.<\/p>\n
Or am I being judgmental?<\/p>\n